Update from last night!

After I posted last night, I started to get really dizzy. I was doing my hair (I like to do it the night before) and had to stop to sit down for a bit. I have a heart problem that is actually pretty minor, but I refuse to take my medication for it. Why? Because beta blockers make you gain weight, and I freak out any time I take them. So instead, I deal with rapid heart beats from time to time. It went on all night and is still going on. Here’s for hoping it will end soon!

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Day one

Calorie Count- 706 

Today I ate a lot more than usual. I actually felt hunger… a feeling I am not comfortable with. To anyone who doesn’t understand anorexia, it isn’t that i never get hungry, I just don’t like to eat. It is a lot like vacuuming or doing the dishes. An absolute chore. Plus, eat too much or the wrong things and you end up fat. Certainly not what i want! People tell me that i look great, but I think I can do better. Whenever I feel hunger, I am sure to stamp it out. I will drink copious amounts of water, coffee, and diet coke. If that doesn’t work, I know where to go! This blog http://dailyfatspiration.tumblr.com is sure to make me loose any appetite. Please do not misunderstand, I don’t hate fat people, I just am scared to end up that way. If I see a fat person, I loose all appetite. All i need is something like the pic below to loose any desire to eat.

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Eating disorders are so misunderstood in today’s culture. Some people glamorize them, claiming they will make you happy. Others will post extreme pictures, claiming they totally ruin your life. I would have to disagree with both. I have had ed’s since middle school. While it has effected my life, I still live a great quality existence. I am now in my early 20’s and want to explain to people how my life works around anorexia. This is not a how to do guide, but it is up to you on how you wish to use the information. 

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